home alone? did you mean time to practice for my broadway debut?
Cosmo sex tip #394: Once your man reaches orgasm, awkwardly embrace him and whisper “well done Draco.”
I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD I SWEAR
ITS FUCKING TIP 394
You just found me in the wrong universe. That’s all. This is, as they say, the darkest timeline. Everywhere else, nay, “everywhen” else— us in the Civil War, us in Ancient Egypt, us in the swinging ’60s— we are happy.
Because you could have loved me forever. And maybe in another universe, I let you.